Your child says they’re trans. You don’t believe affirming it will help, and you don’t want to lose them either.
That’s the position most parents are in when they find me. You’ve read the studies. You know what the medical interventions do. And none of it has made the next conversation with your child any easier.
ROGD Repair is a self-paced course and community that teaches an emotionally intelligent approach to parenting teens and young adults who are confused about their gender. It’s built on psychology, family systems, and communication strategy, not on culture-war arguments, because arguments don’t work on your kid.
You don’t have to choose between blind affirmation and open warfare. There’s a third way, and it can be learned.
Everything in one program
So you can stop assembling your own curriculum from books and podcasts.

Stephanie Winn, LMFT
I’m Stephanie Winn, a licensed marriage and family therapist. I practiced the gender-affirming model in good faith, in a clinic, for four years, and slowly came to see the damage it does. I’ve since spent years working directly with parents in your position, hundreds of them, across every kind of family and situation. This program is what came out of that work.

What parents say
“I was able to use your words of wisdom in instances where there would have been a big fight, and turn those situations into calm, successful interactions.”
“I am confident that this course has kept us from saying and doing things we would have regretted.”
“Only a month into learning these concepts, they have already helped us to have conversations we should have had long ago.”
I can’t thank you enough for providing this course. I have much trouble saying the right things and your course has really helped me to more effectively and compassionately communicate with our trans identified son.
Since being home, I’ve had to not only change many old habits of thinking, but also learn a new skill (for me) of saying the right things without pushing him to leave again, or further into the trans identity. Your course helped me tremendously in both regards. Plus, I personally enjoyed the crash course in psychology! You explain psychological concepts in lay terms that really help with establishing a core understanding of what’s going on in the minds of these poor youth.
Our adult daughter lives at home, secretly taking testosterone and trans has been the subject we dare not speak about. The ROGD Repair Course + Community are exactly what we need right now. The course is filled with deep thought provoking questions to help you look at the particulars of your own family dynamics and develop strategies to help guide your child out of the madness.
The Community allows you to learn from and chat with other parents in similar situations – to experience the strange comfort of knowing you’re not alone. We have great hope and this course is making it actionable.
I wish this course had been available three years ago when our family first encountered the sudden announcement of an ROGD son. My initial reaction was to read many many books, listen to podcasts, and watch detransitioner videos, however, these resources don’t provide the important underlying psychological concepts of what is driving the behaviour and thinking of many of these kids.
This course is an invaluable resource for any parent struggling to navigate the complex and often overwhelming landscape of gender ideology.
This course is brimming with eye-opening information from a perspective that is just not being covered elsewhere. It is richly insightful and practical at the same time.
If we had had this information 5 years ago I believe we may have been able to not only prevent our son going deeper into the ideology and getting on hormones but even more fundamentally, help him out of the unhealthy psychological patterns that got us into this in the first place.
Which kind of ROGD parent are you?
Parents come to this from very different places. Some are newly blindsided; some have been managing it for years. Some have a daughter at home, some a son who’s already moved out. What helps you depends a great deal on which of those you are.
Take the quiz. A few minutes, and you’ll get your parenting profile, the patterns that tend to come with it, and the lessons in the course most worth your time.
Free downloadTwelve Things Parents Kick Themselves ForThe regrets I hear most often from parents, and what to do instead.
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Download the guide (PDF)Free meditation · 10 minThe Long GameA guided meditation for when the worry won’t stop.
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Download the meditation (MP3)Full access the moment you enroll
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120+ lessons, added to regularly
Tap any module to see the lessons inside it.
Orientation for New Students
- Introducing ROGD Repair: a New, Game-Changing Resource for Concerned Parents of Trans-Identified Youth
- Why join ROGD Repair? The value of a proactive approach
- ENROLLED STUDENTS START HERE: Welcome & Orientation (please do not skip)
- Disclaimer, Privacy Policy & Copyright
- How This Course Came To Be
- Philosophy and Approach
- Before We Go On: Let's Take Privacy Seriously
Guided Meditations
- Introduction to Guided Meditations
- Finding Your Ground: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #1
- The Long Game: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #2
- The Peaceful Warrior: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #3
- After the Storm: ROGD Repair Guided Meditation #4
First: Let's Address Your Fears About Suicide & Self-Harm
- Introduction to this section
- Addressing Suicide Risk Responsibly
- Make Sure Self-Injury is Against the Rules in Your Home
General Attitudes, Habits & Mindset Shifts to Adopt as You Go Through This Course
- Introduction to General Attitudes, Habits & Mindset Shifts
- Give Up Wishful Thinking; This Won't Go Away On Its Own
- Realign with Your Core Values to Find Strength & Guidance
- Marathon Mindset: Being In It For the Long Haul
- The Importance of Slowing Down; Attuning to Recognize Opportunities
- Lifestyle Changes: A Brief Overview of Adjustments to Make
- Adopt a Posture of Non-Defensiveness to Soothe, De-Escalate, and Model Healthy Interactions
- Carry Yourself with Dignity Through Assertive Self-Respect
- Remember You Are the Adult
- Think Symbolically; Find Helpful Analogies
- Take the Next Step in the Dance
- Be Willing to Self-Reflect on Blind Spots and Shadows
- Model and Reflect on Matters of Grace and Forgiveness
- Stop Desperately Attempting to Persuade
- Refrain from Bribing, Bargaining & Coercing
- Avoid Long, Unreciprocated Texts and Emails
- Stop Losing Control of Your Emotions and Behavior
- Be Wary of Trusting the Wrong People & Making Yourself a Target
- When it Comes to Faith: Show, Don't Tell
- Embrace Nuance to Allow for Hope
- Don't Over-Give, Enable Bad Behavior, or Tolerate Abuse
- Get Your Priorities Straight
- Be Circumspect With Regard to Your Own Activism
- Assess Your Leverage & Tailor Interventions Accordingly
Quick Interlude to Check In
- How's the Course So Far?
- Working with Stephanie 1:1 — everything you need to know
- RepairBot is here! Get help when you need it, 24/7.
The Trifecta of Social Contagion
- Introduction to the Trifecta
- Introduction to Woke Beliefs About Social Justice
- Mapping Your Child: The Trifecta + What = Perfect Storm?
Relevant Psychological Concepts Affecting Your Family
- Introduction to Psychological Concepts Section
- Double Binds: When You're Caught Between a Rock and a Hard Place
- Neuroplasticity, Addiction, and Obsessive-Compulsive Patterns
- Is Gender Dysphoria Ego-Syntonic or Ego-Dystonic?
- Cognitive Dissonance: Conflicting Beliefs Pervade Gender Ideology
- Secondary Gain: the Hidden Benefits of Suffering
- Adopting the Language of Parts
- The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Why We Continue When Our Behaviors Don't Pay Off
- The Hot-Cold Empathy Gap: Why We're Terrible at Predicting Our Future Responses
- Identity, Confidence, and Competence: the Crux of What Your Child Truly Needs
- The Default Mode Network vs. Task Positive Network; Impacts on Depression & Anxiety
- The Paradox of Choice: The Illusion that More Options = More Happiness
- Psychological Differentiation: An Often Missing Skill in Immature Youth
- Extinction Bursts vs. Intermittent Rewards in Behavioral Psychology
- Dissociation: Your Child's Mind-Body Disconnect
- Code-Switching: How We Navigate Different Social Environments
- Preference Falsification, The Emperor's New Clothes, and Drag Queens
- Hypersensitivity to Embarrassment & Scrutiny in Adolescents & Young Adults
- Twice-Exceptional Youth & the Lopsided Brain; Scaffolding Skills in Autistic Youth
- Empathy vs. Theory of Mind, featuring: Mentalizing
- One More Warning About Trusting Unverified Professionals
- Your Kid's Vulnerability Hangover
- Moral Foundations Theory & Nonviolent Communication
- Social and Identity Capital; "Party Tricks" as Building Blocks
Understanding & Dealing with Cluster B Personality Disorder Type Traits & Behaviors
- Cluster B Personality Traits & Behaviors: A Brief Introduction & Overview
- Get Out of the F.O.G. of Emotional Blackmail
- Grandiosity: A Feature of Narcissism, or Just Immaturity?
- Projection: When Your Child's Emotions are Now Yours
- Depressed/Depleted Narcissism: Woe Is Me
- The Drama Triangle: Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer
- A Funhouse Mirror Warning: When Both Sides Point the Narcissist Finger
- Entitlement, Resentment, "Narcissist Math" & the Woke Robinhood Mentality
Communication 101: Asserting Boundaries
- Introduction to this section
- Boundaries and Consequences: An Overview
- Healthy Boundaries & Consequences, the Customer Service Attitude, & Being Life's Messenger
- Distinguish Between Your Boundaries and Your Opinions
- Front-Load Disappointing News to Reduce Anxiety
- Set Boundaries Using the Broken Record Technique
- Strategic Apologizing: A Helpful Tool for Delivering Hard News
- Absorb the Blows Preemptively: Conduct an Accusation Audit
- Playful Assertion to Protect the Quality of Interactions
- Financial Boundaries 1: Redirecting Savings for Future Medical Needs
Communication 102: Effective Strategies and Approaches
- Introduction to Communication Strategies Section
- Introduction to Strategic Thinking: Beginning with the End in Mind
- Nonverbal Communication and Your Nervous System
- Restoring Natural Spontaneity to Communication
- Working With the Ego: Alter-Casting + Playing Dumb
- Reflective Listening & Empathic Guesses: Therapeutic Communication to Reduce Defensiveness
- Curiosity Without Agreement; Reflective Listening with Differentiation
- Changing the Pattern: When All You Can Control is Your Own Predictability
- Dropping Defensiveness, Fessing Up: "You Caught Me"
- Resist the Urge to Over-Share; Make Them Ask for Information Instead
- Make "NO" Work for You: Use No-Oriented Questions
- Pose Moral Dilemmas and Invite Critical Thinking
- Near-Future Pain and Embarrassment Are More Palpable to Teens Than Long Term Problems
- Use Accurate Language; Avoid Cliches
- Leave Reading Material Lying Around So Kids Can Peruse Un-Self-Consciously
- Use "What" and "How" Questions, Rather Than "Why"
- Emphasize Near-Term Pain and Embarrassment Over Long Term Medical Consequences
- De-Personalize It: Invite Opinions on What Others Should Do
- Playfulness & Self-Effacing Humor
- Set Aside Talk of Detransitioners; Express Concern for Trans People Instead
- A Different Way to Speak About Detransitioners
- Say "You're Right" Early and Often
- Statements to Buy Yourself Time + Circle Back
- A Strategy for Handling Projection: Inverting "The Work" of Byron Katie
Female-Specific Issues
- Your Daughter's Menstrual Cycle: Every Phase & Why It Matters
- Menopause, Menarche, and Female Role Models
Male-Specific Issues
- Aggression in Males
- Autogynephilia as a Safety Blanket
- Pornography-Induced Gender Dysphoria: Sissy-Hypnosis Pornography, Autogynephilia, Porn Addiction, and Your Son
Gaining Further Insight Into Your Child and What You Can Do
- Introduction to Further Insights Section
- Detecting Hidden Signs of Ambivalence & Doubt
- What's in a Name?
- Bad Things Won't Happen to My Friends
- The Right Side of History
- Building Your Child's Healthy Self-Esteem
- Gameable Heuristics: When Mental Shortcuts Create Exploitable Loopholes
- Differences in Worldviews Between Youthful Progressives & Mature Moderates
- Secrets Policies and Parental/Familial Triangulation
- The Writing on the Wall: Threat of Estrangement; Getting Ahead vs. Behind Where They're Going
- Don't Burst Their Bubble; Try to Understand the Bubble
- Is There Hope? Ways of Orienting to Questions of Optimism, Effort, and Despair
- Comfort and Challenge: The Paradoxical Relationship
- Is "Gender-Nonconforming" Actually the Best Way to Describe Your Child?
- Inhibition vs. Disinhibition, Neuroplasticity & Flow States
- Dissociation vs. Embodiment, Featuring: Proprioception
- Time Horizons & Empathy for Our Future Self
- Holistic Therapeutics: Float Tanks & Hot/Cold Therapies
- Trump's Executive Orders: Applying the Tools to How You Communicate. Plus: Why Switch to Group Chats
- Implementing a Digital Sabbath & Drawing Your Kid Out of Their Room
- Conduct a Premortem: Learn to Prevent Your Worst-Case Scenario
- Natural communication has a back-and-forth, serve-and-return rhythm
- Ages and Stages: The Developmental Map Every ROGD Parent Needs
Examining Myths Embedded in Gender Ideology
- Trans Exceptionalism: The Myth of a Special Kind of Human
- The Myth of Mind-Body Separation
- The Myth That Trans People Definitely Won't Want Children
Stories and Examples
- Introduction to Stories and Examples
- Desistance Story 1: Jared's Daughter Sally
- Desistance Story 2: Carl and Ellen's Son Eric
- Desistance Story 3: Alice's Son Ethan
UNPACKED: Bonus Articles with Concept Animation Videos
- Introduction to This Section
- Boundaries and Behavioral Outbursts with Strong-Willed Teens: Extinction Bursts Revisited
- The Longer Onramp: De-Escalating Rigid and Autistic Teens
- The Belief That Builds Its Own Cage: The Causal Chain of Consequence in Trans Ideation
- So, Your Kid Is Starting at a New School Next Week
- The Masc Mask
- Tumbled Smooth: How Character Is Actually Made
- A Request Is Not a Confession: Approaching Schools and Therapists Before the School Year Starts
- Steering Without Commanding: The If-Then Framework for Stubborn Teens
- The Package: What to Do When Your Child Arrives With Their Whole Case Already Made
- Two Houses, Two Worlds: Parenting Through a Gender-Divided Custody Arrangement
- Loose Threads: On the Doubts Your Child Voices Sideways, and What to Do When You Hear Them
- You Are Training the Wrong Muscle: On the Ways Well-Meaning Parents Accidentally Deepen the Belief They Are Trying to Loosen
- The Muscle Is Built in the Repair: On Why Relationships Strengthen Through Conflict, Not Around It
- Shock Absorbers: On Taking Blame Where You Can, and No Further
- The Toddler at the Steering Wheel: On the Developmental Paradox at the Heart of the Ideological Identity
- Motivational Interviewing for Parents: a Framework and Toolkit for Aiding Ambivalence
Bonus Lessons and Articles
- The Seventeen-Year-Old Speaking for the Forty-Year-Old She Hasn't Met Yet
- The Initiation That Did Not Happen: On the Grief of Mothering a Daughter Who Has Refused Her Womanhood
- The Harsh Love of the Autistic Engineer Father
- Greeting the Hostile Intruder: Who Am I Talking to Right Now?
- The Bubble of Suspended Reality
- Shoot Your Shot — But Don't Screw It Up: Tips for Estranged Parents and Tenuous Relationships
- Therapists: Guilty Until Proven Innocent?
- Disenfranchised Dad, ROGD Kid
- Creating Conditions for Desistance: A Parent's Guide to ROGD Recovery
- "Gender Identity" as a Shell: What the Alter Ego Does for Your Child & How to Help Them Desist (episode 217 of You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist podcast)
- Why Your Teen Thinks in Extremes — And What You Can Do About It
- Why ROGD Teens Tune Out Parents' Warnings — and the Alter-Casting Fix
- Life Paths and the Branching Tree
- Why Your Child Can't "Just Stop Thinking About It": Understanding Neural Valleys and Gender Obsession
- The Marriage Problem Nobody Talks About: Why Your Marital Conflict Is Fueling Your Child's Gender Ideology
- Vagal Tone & Nervous System Regulation: Why Your Calmness (or Panic) Is More Powerful Than Your Words
- The Affirmation Paradox: Why Your Child Resents Non-Affirmation While Losing Respect for Those Who Affirm
- Getting Ahead of the Behavior: Why Staying Silent About What You See Is More Dangerous Than Speaking Up
- Triangulation & Splitting: How Your Child Compartmentalizes Relationships to Avoid Integrating Reality
- Naming the Aggression: Why Your Child's Hostility Matters and How It Differs Between Boys and Girls
- Moral Masochism & Learned Helplessness: Why Your Child Self-Sabotages and Gets Stuck in Victimhood
- Power Dynamics: Why Your Child Shouldn't Be in Control and How to Reclaim Your Family's Emotional Leadership
- Cluster B Personality Traits, Emotional Abuse & Power Play Dynamics in Adolescents
- Father-Son Relationship Rupture & Repair: When Gender Dysphoria Masks the Real Problem
- Understanding Identity Patterns in Gender-Questioning Youth: What Parents Are Observing
- They're Listening (Even When It Seems Like They're Not)
- Just Sit in the Room: Why Your Presence Matters More Than Your Instructions
- She Doesn't Want to Be Trans—She Wants to Be a Boy: Understanding the Difference
- When Hollywood Gets It Right: Strategic Apologizing and Boundary-Setting in Action
- The Reality Principle: Why Meeting Gender Ideology Halfway Doesn't Work
- Triangulate the Cat: When Direct Connection Isn't Possible, Connect Through a Third Object
- Seen But Not Scrutinized: The Paradox Every Parent of a Teenager Needs to Understand
- The Load-Bearing Delusion: What Your Child's Trans Identity Is Protecting Them From
- Cognitive Dissonance as Magma: Why You Shouldn't Cause the Earthquake
- College as a Crossroads: Strategic Thinking About the Most Dangerous Transition Point
- When Your Sensitive Child Can't Sleep: A Practical Guide to Chronic Insomnia
- After the Self-Harm Scare: How to Stop Walking on Eggshells
- Protecting the Sibling: How to Support a Younger Child When Their Older Sibling Has Transitioned
- The Disenfranchised Dad: When a Father's Love Gets Lost in Translation
- Executive Functioning as a Doorway: How Practical Coaching Builds Connection and Confidence
- Planting Seeds, Not Winning Arguments
- The Rubber Duck Method: When Listening Is More Powerful Than Arguing
- "You Take It to Mean That I Don't Respect You": The Language of Double Differentiation
- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Your Daughter
- When Helping Hurts: The Single Mom's Blind Spot in Raising Boys
- When Self-Expression is Antithetical to the Goal: A Wake-Up Call
- When Your Kid Says They Don't Intend to Medicalize
- "Yes, And" — The Most Dangerous Moment in the Conversation
- When "Nonbinary" Is the Door Out
Bonus Content from Maia Poet, Desister
- Introduction: Meet Maia
Closing Remarks
- A List of Topics to Come
- Closing Remarks & How to Cancel Your Membership When You're Ready to Leave
- Stephanie's 1:1 coaching work
One-on-one coaching
ROGD Repair is built on my coaching work with hundreds of families. For parents who want that hands-on, space is limited and it runs alongside the program.